Springtij (Spring Tide) is a film about changing your narrative. Through reflecting on how your past influences your present, you can find freedom within your future.

I’ve always thought my parents’ divorce nine years ago hadn’t had an effect on me. I didn’t need saving at the time, I let everything come over me without much emotion. Years later, I am plagued with a strange aversion to marriage, even though I see a real future with my at the time boyfriend.

These feelings – of thinking “ah, it’s no use getting married because I’ll end up divorcing anyway” – were holding me back in more ways than just my love life. I appropriated the path my parents ended up in and warped it into my own future, and with that, I withheld myself the opportunity to live an authentic life of my own.

And it turns out more (adult) children of divorced parents still feel the effects of it after quite some time. For them I wanted to document my process of making a conscious decision to turn it around and find freedom.

In my film I open the conversation on the subject of my parents’ divorce with multiple people that can change my perspective. My brother and sister. A system therapist. People that have dealt with the same feelings after their parents’ divorce. My boyfriend, whose family is happily together still. Finally, my parents.

In the process of having these conversations, I found that I had never allowed myself to feel anything about the divorce, and consequently never made space for these feelings to exist in my life. Sharing my experiences and being open and vulnerable created that space.

As a result of opening up and listening to different stories and perspectives, I found that my view on definitely-not-wanting-to-get-married had changed, become softer. I truly felt free to know I get to make the choices that result in my getting divorced or staying married, to be happy or miserable.

My view on divorce also softened. Where I used to feel stifled by the embarrassment of getting a divorce and admitting a failed marriage, I now feel liberated that I can choose at any time to leave a situation that doesn’t make me truly happy. That’s what my parents have done, and I have a newfound appreciation for it.

Contact me if you want the link to watch the documentary.